Friday, May 4, 2007

still overwhelmed

We are back, to the real world, to the daily life, to everyday rituals, but our feelings are not the same as before the time we left, not at all, not a bit; we are still so overwhelmed that it is hard to put on the page what we went through, but we will for sure, once we calm down, so that others can read what unique days we shared with unique women; till the moment I am writing this down, it’s as if we have this energy stream inside us that we don’t know where it springs from, we have this elevated consciousness making us sad and sometimes even angry of what is going on around outside that circle of ours, and meanwhile we have this memories we want to recount, to everyone, not caring if they want to listen or not; we want them to know of the women, of the friends, of the places, of the cause, of the feelings, of the ride; we talk and they listen and they sometimes look at us as if we are talking nonsense, not getting why we are feeling as such; we are sharing pictures with them, telling the story behind each one, and they sometimes look at us as if we are exaggerating, perhaps thinking to themselves that this looks like any group trip, and we look back at them, suddenly listening to what we are saying and looking at what we are showing, and we realize that no matter how good story tellers we are, no matter how colorful the pictures are, they can not feel what we are feeling inside, yet we know deep inside that they are of no fault, as the experience needs to be lived through to become the lively creature it is for us, it needs to be lived to fill the life that comes afterwards, it needs to be lived through and breathed through to become the zest that fills the breaths taken in afterwards. There is so much that they have not shared with us, those who have not been on the ride, but even so, the pictures and the talks give them a glimpse of what we went through, tickling them to think of the next ride, of maybe coming along, and we look at them and think to ourselves, they don’t know what they are getting themselves into, and we smile knowing that even if only one of them is drawn into the circle, our sharing the experience is worth the sharing. One by one we will join to make a wall of female love whose bricks would replace the concrete ones around the occupied lands, whose bricks would replace the invisible walls around people all over the world.

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